This is all I’m going to write about the last 2 months.
A long time ago, 6 years, when I first got back together with Shannon, a lot of people weren’t terribly thrilled. My best friend at the time was particularly unhappy about it, she had been around during the first break up and she knew, deep down, that my relationship with Shannon would “end badly”. She said that out loud to my face. Such hurtful words that had haunted me since I heard them.
And how right she was, what a bad ending. Possibly the worst ending? I’m sure she’s proud, she sure told me.
Anyway. It’s been really awful. I miss Shannon all the time, I miss his humour and love and stories about rockets and his smells. I miss his beard and his homoerotic tattoo. I miss finding beard hairs everywhere. I miss him constantly encouraging me to work hard, follow my dreams, and be strong. We are at the 8 week mark and I’m starting to heal but it ain’t easy. The apartment we shared is still full of art and all kinds of business that is just a constant reminder of him, day in, day out.
The good news is that I won’t be here forever. I’m no longer tied to this area because it’s close to the pharmacy that has his medicine. I’m no longer tied to this city because it’s where his doctors are. I can go anywhere, I can do anything, it’s a big, wide open world and it’s all mine. I don’t want to be the Yoko Ono to his John Lennon and I know that he wouldn’t have wanted that for me either.
Mostly I want to thank all the kind, generous, thoughtful, people out there. I have received so many beautiful emails, phone calls and visits from old friends and new, strangers, fans, family, artists and bodymod practitioners. And all the money donated to my paypal has gone into a trust fund for Ari, every penny. Her post secondary education
is definitely covered savings are looking good. In my dreams she goes into science, researching genetic diseases, and finds a cure for all myopathies. Of course she can do whatever makes her happy, she is a Larratt, she will be successful at anything she tries. And she will be loved by everyone that comes near her, she’s a wonderful girl.
The list of individuals I need to thank publicly goes like this (and if I missed you, I apologize, my brain is still flying at half mast): mum, dad, Megan, Kathy, Devon, Ashleigh, Libs, Michelle, Saira, Michael, Kiran, Corrie, Ryan, Molly, Ryan, Amber, Marty, Ashley, Scott, Shane, Jovanka, Marc, Nicole, Gillian, Jill, Badur, Clive, Kerrick, J.J., Sheri, Jana, Jason, Chris, Dave, Therasa, Gillian, Julia, Stephanie1, Stephanie2, Abbie, Anna, Terri-Lyn, Joe, Danny, Jim, Trudy, Richard, Jill, Holly, Collen, V. The love and support, the groceries and drinks, the open ears and advice that you guys have given me is hugely appreciated. I love you all.