My best friend and I have opened an etsy shop. We had been talking about collaborating for a long time and finally came up with a name, a logo, and stock. For some reason, however, I find myself completely unable to actually put my baby quilts in the shop. I have no real excuse for this, I’m sure it’s making my friend angry, but I just…can’t do it. In an ideal world all I would have to do is make the quilts and maybe take the pictures, and someone else would write a clever description, decide on a price, upload it all to etsy, field any and all questions, and deal with the post office. It sounds so stupid, in my head, out loud, and especially written down.
It takes me back to when I was in school and didn’t do homework or projects. Or practice music, or try at all at gymnastics. The only thing I’ve ever done that made me feel proud and brave was running the 100m sprint in grade 7, I came in first place. That is the first and last time I can remember feeling confident.
I promise, none of this is intentional, I hate it more than anyone who I’ve pissed off, I assure you. I just really, really, don’t want people looking at me, judging me, thinking about me. Maybe that makes no sense, especially with writing a blog that’s named after me, but there it is.