Seriously. OF ALL TIME. That is alongside Prince, Zappa, The Who, Zeppelin and assorted musical soundtracks.

And you know what flipped me from being a casual admirer to a hardcore fanatic? Her performance on Howard Stern. Yep. Her interview was great but her lead in story to performing Edge of Glory, how and why it was written, and then singing it as a ballad (unlike the album version which is poppy and uptempo, like she did on the MTV video awards) was seriously emotional. It moved me. And I’m very confident that it wasn’t just me, I know that there are many Howard fans that love Gaga too now. If I knew how to see the embed code on this stupid iPad I’d make a link, but if you search “gaga Howard stern” it is the top result. The other song she did, Hair, was also great, a fantastic song.

Ok. So I’ve outed myself as a Gaga fan. What else do I love?

Oh yes, I love Arrested Development. It is the funniest series I have ever watched. The stupid thing is that I missed it entirely when it originally aired. I mean, I caught a few episodes here and there on satellite when I was living in Windsor, but it seems to me that it really needs to be seen beginning to end because there are a lot of jokes that carry from one episode to the next. Thankfully, all three seasons are on Netflix, that was how I watched it, basically on repeat, for a few months. Then I got these tattoos. I wanted them to be obvious to fans of the show (like the couple that was giggling behind me at the petting zoo at the CNE) but no super blatant like other AD tattoos I’d looked at online.

The first one, on my left calf, commemorates Buster’s pet turtle, Mother, that he got in a misguided attempt to make his own mother jealous. Mother dies from eating Uncle Father Oscar’s marijuana stash.

The second is the seal that was from GOB’s wife (Crindy?) that he used in a magic show but had to be set free as it had gotten a taste for blood. Buster went swimming in the ocean against his mother’s wishes on his way to army and meets up with the loose seal (see? Loose seal=Lucille) who bites off his hand.

I think I might get a few more, I have a bunch of very silly and hilarious ideas (jorts with analrapist on the banner maybe) but we will see. Oh, and darling Glennie did these at Pearl Harbor in Kensington Market in Toronto. She is super talented and fun and makes you feel like you have a new best friend at the end of your tattoo appointment.

Has anything sillier ever existed? I can’t take it out of the plastic wrapper until I have a frame for it so I won’t get damaged by spit takes. Seriously, it’s pretty much the funniest card ever.

Well. See, I said card, not picture. Nope. As of right now this is the funniest picture:

Haha!

It’s still good! It’s still good!

Three. The answer is three. And are you crazy? I don’t wear all three on the same hand OR at the same time. That would be ridiculous.

The gold one is a Disney Couture ring, from the Pirates of the Caribbean collection. The giant black one is carved from tiger’s eye and has a diamond for an eyeball. We’re all familiar with the first one.

These posters are in every other ad box at Yonge/Bloor station. And on lots of billboards all over North America.

Oh boy.

The next 2 aren’t as cool, but I can tell you that they are very soft. And tempting. And kind of gross. And not tempting at all.

I was extremely not tempted by this, the final item of today’s excursion. In fact. I stayed a minimum of 2 metres away at all times.

‘Cause ‘hope I find crotchless panties’ is the first thing that pops into your head when you’re browsing at V.V.

Other than these exciting items (which I did not buy), the trip was good because someone had donated an upright piano which was being played by a pre-teen boy. Played? Massacred is more like. Better than screaming babies, which is the usual sound track. Also, if you were wondering, all but the girl with chicks paintings are gone. My blog sold them, I’m guessing. I also found the outer box of Tramacet (a pain killer for moderate to moderately severe pain) being used as a book mark in a book titled “Pain Free Living for Drug Free People”. Makes sense to me.

(And if you were wondering, yes, I did buy something: a couple yards of toile type fabric, cream with a blue print.)

It was such a vivid dream that I had to ask Shannon if it were true when I got up. He wasn’t sure, haha, but I realised it was because I had fallen asleep with Howard Stern in my ear.  He was talking about the republican senator that had come out of the closet recently. Brain, stop filling in the gaps!

This wing belonged to a seagull that met a terrible fate, I guess. The wing was all I could see. After being told that coyotes are on the rise and that they’re hungry, that was my first guess, but I doubt they’re taking over Dufferin Mall yet.

For real. It’s full length and yours for ONLY $12.99. It’s size 15 and I bet that it’s still there right now if you run quickly NOW.

But wait. There’s this:

Cute, eh? It’s short and made of poly-cotton knit. And it’s a mere $24.99. Srsly. A bally worn out dress that someone probably wore to bed or over their swimsuit for $24.99. Dresses at Winners-NEW DRESSES-average out at the same price. New, pretty dresses that are current styles. Or you could get this:

This dress not only has stains AND a pull in the fabric right on the front, not only has the seems literally coming apart with threads flapping in the wind, NOT only is 100% polyester, it’s also $24.99.

I actually flagged down an employee to ask her wtf is going on with these insane prices (and there were LOTS of dresses in this one size section with similar insane issues) and she waved me away, don’t bug me ask a manager. Which I did try to do but I was totally distracted by an incredible art collection. I was literally laughing my head off with a huge lineup of people right beside me, my phone out and taking pictures brazenly.

Sorry they’re blurry but I think you get the gist.

All by the same artist. But here’s my favourite:

Ho. Lee. Shit. Balls. Can you imagine that hanging in your house? Over your baby’s crib maybe? Oh. I love that painting so much. It belongs in the Museum of Bad Art.  Maybe they all do?

Oh, and in case you’re wondering-because you ARE-how much to bring to buy an original painting?

Don’t worry, they accept all major credit cards there.

(And the description of the process, from Ashley’s blog to help us understand:

“Shipley has hit honoured me with a blogging baton award.  Ms. Ship has a great blog herself where she often tells hilarious family tales and shares pictures of her gorgeous baby (who I am desperate to meet before she goes off to college).   Honest Scrap is blogger pat on the back by a peer or quite possibly it is the “friendship cake” of the blogosphere.  And I have given out my share of friendship cakes, let me tell you.

Now I get to share with you ten things you may not know about me, and nominate some other bloggers who I lurk, who will in turn do the same.“)

1. It looks like Shannon and I just might be allowed to get legally married. While I don’t want to actually start planning and be hideously disappointed yet again, it’s exciting to know that the ball that had been sitting in someone else’s court for years has finally been put back in motion. I have a huge file of pictures of pretty dresses and cakes and stuff to inspire me so I might start looking at those again soon.

2. I no longer have a best girlfriend. That long term relationship ended almost a year ago for a bunch of sad, silly reasons. We haven’t done the return of borrowed items yet (and I think we’ll just cut our losses) I can’t see it ever going back to the way it was, not even remotely. I used to be sad about this but now it’s gotten down to a weekly blip where I think, oh, I should call her and…nevermind. I miss the comfort of it, the familiarity, but I don’t miss the last little while where I felt judged constantly.

3. I have pretty good health over all and for that I am grateful. I don’t rock the boat by taking vitamins or anything, but I do exercise twice a week. And when I am stressed my body does do fun stuff, like seriously twitching eyelids. My ex would notice my eyelid dancing and he’d back off out of fear.

4. I get migraines. I think half the time they’re stress related and the other half they’re…just bad luck. Sometimes I get one because there’s a neon light flickering and I look at it the wrong way or it could be a very bright light, the sun suddenly in my eyes or a camera flash. My migraines don’t actually hurt, but I get a weird visual effect that means I can’t read or watch tv or do much of anything. Usually a couple aspirin help it go away and laying down in the dark helps too.

5. I am a technophile. It’s taken me a long time to realize and admit that, but it’s true. I love all my tech toys and my fingers itch to fiddle with my iphone, looking for new podcasts to download. I also love my sirius radio, kindle and ds. These are the things I pack on every trip I take.

6. For years I kept my hair short and bleached it blond. Now that it’s long, I like it much better and I can’t remember why I had it short for so long.

7. The last opera I saw live was a performance of Turandot, almost 4 years ago. I miss live opera very much and I see it as an extension of the years I spent going to rock concerts weekly.

8. The older I get the less likely it is that I will ever have a baby and I’m mostly ok with that inevitability.

9. I think about our trip to Panama every day and fantasize about living in the Kuna Yala territory.

10. My secret career goal is to become an ornithologist but I have no idea how to begin that process and will most likely keep it filed in my dream category.

Nothing profound, sorry. Now I pass the torch on to Shannon, Jana, Corrie and Ryan.

I swear I haven’t dyed my hair in eons, this is all natural colour.  And did I mention that I haven’t had a haircut in 2 years? I need to, I know. 2 feet of hair is too much.

Anyone out there have insight into why my hair might be white brown white?