Category: hmmmm

How tiresome.

Posted by – 24/12/2009

I get wrong numbers on my phone pretty regularly (like one a week or more) and today when my phone rang and it said ‘withheld’ I should have known better than to answer it. But, like a fool, I did (the woman we were subletting from-THANKS FOR CHARGING US AN EXTRA $150/MONTH!-blocks her calls too).

Me: Hello?

Him (stern voice): May I please speak to Cynthia Blahblah?

Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number.

Him: Really?

Me (super sarcastic voice): Nope! I was just kidding, this is Cynthia Blahblah!

Him: I’m an investigator from the Ontario Superior Courts and I need to…

Me: I was kidding I was kidding this isn’t Cynthia!

Then I hung up. Eek.  Then my phone rang again, it was withheld again, so I handed it off to Shannon:

This part is written by Shannon:

Him: Could I speak to Cynthia xxxxx please?

Me: Can I tell her who is calling?

Him: This is officer xxxx from the criminal courts division.

Me: What is this about?

Him: She has a court date coming up and I need to make sure that she’s going to be there. If she doesn’t show up, she’s going to jail.

Me, feeling like this is not the time to play games: Oh.. Well… This really is a wrong number. I’m honestly telling you the truth. You have a wrong number.

Him: Look, I just talked to her at that number and I know she’s there. She’s going to be in a lot of trouble.

Me: No, no, that wasn’t her, you have a wrong number.

Him: She told me it was her. I know she’s there.

Me: No, she was just joking with you… You have a wrong number.

Him: I have a lot of trouble believing that. Why would someone do that? This is a serious matter and I need to talk to her.

Me: Honestly, you have a wrong number! I’m not lying to you! She was just joking because she gets constant wrong numbers, and you didn’t believe her when she told you it was a wrong number.

Him: Look, I know she’s there and I know this is her number. I need to talk to her.

Me: I’m not lying to you! You really, really have a wrong number!

Him: Well, I’m going to have to open a criminal investigation into this phone number now.

[click]

Lord. What have I done?

Influential albums

Posted by – 26/02/2009

AKA Records that changed my life. I say records because when I was young that’s what we listened to. I also call my Sirius Satellite Stilleto my ‘walkman’. I am old school like that. This is a list that’s going around on facebook and at first I wasn’t going to participate, but I was thinking about it and there is some music that made me who I am today. These are not necessarily the best albums, but they are the most influential to me.

So, in no particular order (but perhaps chronologically):

1. Hair – The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical (1968 Original Broadway Cast) This is the first record I can remember loving. Seriously, loving. I listened to one side of it until the grooves disappeared, I swear.

2. Cabaret: Original Soundtrack Recording (1972 Film) Broadway, eh? Another recording for the movie made the year I was born. Love, love, love it, although nowadays I also love the original Broadway recording because it has more songs on it and they’re all amazing.

3. Mamas and the Papas Greatest Hits I would listen to this while laying on the sunroom floor with the speakers turned in to face my ears and sing along to California Dreamin’. Then I would sing it over and over with Sheri Campbell.

4.The B-52′s were my favourite band in junior high/early high school. I remember dancing on a picnic table in a snowstorm to Rock Lobster. With John Young.

5. The Innocents by Erasure. My cousin from England visited my family and left the tape at our house and I fell in love with it. Andy Bell’s voice…well, I listened to this tape a lot. 

6. Upstairs at Eric’s by Yaz. Someone at camp introduced this to me in about grade 5 and it was game over. Even though I haven’t heard it in at least 15 years I bet I know all the words still. 

7. Deep Purple by Donny and Marie. My sister got this album and the dolls for Christmas  in 1976 when we still lived on the production chicken farm. Our bull terrier, Spike, ate Marie’s head, but Donny survived for many years. The record didn’t. When I was much older I found a copy of it at Value Village, brought it home and could remember every song. 30 years later, BOOYAH!

8. Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants. We went to England to visit family at the beginning of Adam Ant mania and this album was top of the charts there. It’s pretty good, but Kings of the Wild Frontier is better. My sister actually saw him in concert when she was in grade 7 (I think). Lucky.

9. The Hits/The B-Sides byPrince. It’s impossible for me to pick one album by him, they are all great. My love for Prince is deep and eternal. I’ve seen him live twice! TWICE! 

10. Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf. I terrorized a random woman at a stag and doe by singing along with Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Ali will remember. I think Ali also shit her pants. 

11. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975 Film) Another movie I have watched over and over and over. And listened to the soundtrack in it’s many variations over and over and over.

12. Legend – The Best Of Bob Marley And The Wailers by Bob Marley. Now, this isn’t the actual tape I had originally. That one has disappeared from history, it was a greatest hits that was probably only released in Jamaica years before Bob was popular in Canada. It had no songs on it from Legend, but it was amazing. SO good and natural and rustic sounding. Then I found out Bob Marley died on my ninth birthday and have felt a connection to him since.

13.  Live in Berlin 1962 by Ray Charles. The musicianship on this recording is incredible. This is music I will love forever and ever.

14.  Quadrophenia by The Who. Did I ever tell you I was a mod-briefly-in highschool? I wore skirts and tights and two tone shoes and I even had a parka…Well, then I realized life’s more fun in jeans because you’re not limited in your mobility. I had this on vinyl with the book inside. I saw The Who live…must have been grade 10. SO good. 

15.  The Teaches of Peaches byPeaches. Some people don’t like this because it’s electronic music, and looking at this list, I guess you might not peg me as a Peaches fan either. But I love her. She puts on one heck of a show and if you do ever get the chance to see her live, you should do it. 

16. Sheik Yerbouti by Frank Zappa. Think about this album: it’s crazy. If you don’t like Zappa I think there must be something deeply wrong with you.

17. Chronicles by Rush. I am a Canadian gal and when I was growing up in the 80′s I had to compete with Rush for love from boys. This is why most girls hate Rush-boys like Rush better. And why? What’s the deal with Geddy Lee’s voice? Or the crazy lyrics? I don’t know. I really don’t, but I do know that as I grew up and realized that boys really don’t like Rush better, I gave them a second chance and now I am a hardcore fan. I’ve never seen them live, but I would LOVE to one day. I also grew up in St.Catharines where Neil Peart-possibly one of the best rock drummers of all time- is from so we have that in common.

18. The Bends by Radiohead. Do you have any breakup albums? The Bends is that one for me. It took years for me to be able to listen to it without crying my eyes out. I like everything by Radiohead, but this one is the important one for me.

19. Pure Guava by Ween. This one was hard to pick, Chocolate and Cheese is so good too, but PG was my introduction to the brothers Ween.

20. Illinoise by Sufjan Stevens. Somewhere, somehow, I read about this album and decided to give it a whirl. Thank goodness. If you’ve never heard it, you should. I am not familiar with the rest of his catalogue, but I promise, this one’s amazing. 

21. Six Feet of Chain by Cagney and Lacee. Shannon bought this and we listened to it a lot in 1999-2000. Then things went awry and it took me a long time to replace this cd. It’s short but it’s super good. 

22.  Ágætis Byrjun by Sigur Ros. This was the only music left at Shannon’s when his hard drive moved to his lawyer’s office. We listened to it every night, all night. It was very comforting during a very difficult, unpleasant time. I will forever associate Sigur Ros with that year.

23.  Blood Sugar Sex Magik by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Is this the best album they made? I don’t know. It’s the last one I bought. But I can tell you, in the early 90′s I was Red Hot crazed. My boyfriend at the time was best friends with a guy who wrote for Meat Magazine and Dave got dragged along to a RHCP interview and became pretty good friends with Flea. We ate supper with him twice and he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. He gave us his home phone number!

24. Nevermind by Nirvana. Who’s life wasn’t changed by this? We got an advance copy of it, months before the release date, and were in awe. It’s still good. Nirvana played in Toronto at the Opera House the night before it was released and it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever attended.

25. Led Zeppelin III by Led Zeppelin. Maybe a weird choice as far as Led Zep goes, but it’s my favourite one. Out on the Tiles is a seriously killer song. Wait, whoa. The whole thing is killer. Give it another listen.

Email haiku

Posted by – 10/01/2009

I don’t  lets play your 

hit go and hide then come  run 

after  you  leave message

(This was an email I received today. I am not sure what it means, but I like it’s flow).

Corrections

Posted by – 29/10/2008

When I wrote out the rippled sock scarf pattern, I made a few mistakes. Here are the patterns, as they should be, with close ups for reference.

1. Chain 37, turn, skip the first chain, single crochet all the way down=36.

2. *Skip first chain, 1 dc in next 3 ch, 3 dc in next ch, 1 dc in next 3 ch, SKIP 1* Repeat to end, turn.

So the way I thought of it, once rolling, is three, three, three, skip two, three, three, three, skip two, etc. And the skip one at the beginning and end. Right?

close

The second one is similar.

1. Chain 31, turn, skip the first chain, single crochet all the way=30.

2. *Skip first ch, 1 dc in next 6 ch, 3 dc in next ch, 1 dc in next 6, skip 1* Repeat to end, turn.

So, again, in simpler terms (which my brain demands) skip, six, three, six, skip two,  six, three, six, skip turn. Sort of easier than the first one, but harder, sort of too, because my brain was demanding threes.

closer

Can you see them? I think with the close-ups it’s more obvious. I hope!

‘Fess up time

Posted by – 13/10/2008

I have eaten turkey dinner 2 nights in a row so my brain might not be functioning properly, but I have something I need to get off my chest:

I love Mariah Carey’s perfume. Well, maybe not the perfume, but her scented body lotion  (the pink one) is so awesome. I used it today at Shopper’s and sniffed my hands, easily, 100 times since. I might be forced to buy it. And while I don’t think Mimoo needs my financial support, it might be out of my control.

Tell me I am not the only person in the world with terrible taste in fragrance.

Note to self:

Posted by – 16/09/2008

Turd crumb? Thanks, Nicole and Paris. I am calling the CRTC as soon as my phone plan allows me to do so for free.

Ew

Posted by – 15/09/2008

So this won’t top the maggots in the kitchen rolling a couple balloons story, but it’s still pretty horrible:

Today, on the subway platform, a couple I see almost daily outside the bank near the corner of Yonge and Eglinton. She has a little doggy that isn’t terribly friendly to strangers and he sells the homeless paper. They are friendly enough. I have never seen them traveling before,  and he was dragging a small suitcase with wheels. Something about it caught my eye, something moving inside it, visible in a open zipper. I looked closer…COCKROACHES!!!! Lots of ‘em! I quickly scurried away, like a cockroach would, out of fear. Then I got my wits about me and took a picture with my phone. So, yeah, it’s blurry and you can’t see anything gross, but trust me, there was probably a hundred bugs in the pocket and who knows how many more inside. Then I purposely sat as far away from that bag as I could…

beware!!

Would it be possible to get bedbugs this way? I worry about stuff like that… :(

A guessing game!

Posted by – 06/09/2008

Can any of you tell me what this is? Be specific, I know it’s  flowers!

flowers!

Ew. Ew ew ew.

Posted by – 22/07/2008

So I went to the house today to do more organizing and cleaning. I got a LOT of work done. It seems easier when you’re alone with no distractions. I finished our bedroom, Ari’s bedroom and both bathrooms, and did a bunch of work in the kitchen. I should have known something weird was going on in the house when I found the first maggot on the floor in the middle of the top floor hallway. That’s the first ew in the title.

But the kitchen… Ali, stop reading now, ok? I moved a bag that was on the floor in the kitchen, an empty bag, a big plastic tote bag from Ikea…And there were about 40 maggots under it. Nothing stinky, nothing gooey, nothing foody, nothing yummy (for maggots), just…maggots. And then they all started crawling in unison in the same direction and I screamed. I screamed in an empty house, by myself, around mid day. Then I grabbed a broom and tried to corral them into a pile while I contemplated their fate. Then they all started crawling in unison again so I screamed again. Luckily I was interrupted by a phone call from Shannon.  Who was NO help at all.

What made it really scary was that there were 2 balloons on the floor, empty, untied balloons. One red and one blue. So when I swept the maggots into a tidy pile the balloons were swept into it too. Then when the maggots started their disgusting race, they made the balloons slowly roll across the floor too.  Vom, right? I had the brains to take a couple pictures, but I only had my phone cam with me and I don’t know how to make them appear on my computer.

Ew ew ew. To the max.